Blending... or not

hmmm... What can i say.

Work wasnt all that bad but i don't really dig the whole waking up early in the morning and WALK thing. Ok, waking up in the morning's a hassle to me too. I'm partially a night owl and partially a sleep addict, you do the math.

Maybe i've already blended into the crowd of black and white office wear. No, i'm not wearing office wear but you know, in more literal sense. And there i am, putting my life at line for work. My life of terribly long naps, of unspeakbly extensive sleeps and of unbearably weird dreams.

Is it me or is it the lack of iron in my system pulling my whole life back. Sigh, i've never seem the enjoy the so called "art of life". Tell me, what's so artsy about life. You drag and you vamoose...

My inner ego wants me to score at everything i do, my outer ego... she's pretty darn lazy. It's like when your angel conscience tells you to get up and do somethin useful and your devil conscience tells you to take it to a corner and relax.

I wanna be someone.. not someone celebrity-ly famous. I wanna be someone of certain calibre. I wouldn't say be someone special cause if you'd noticed... Every day of your life you'll hear someone calling someone speical, hell, they are even in shows and movies. "Don't give up, you're special" "You know you're special" etc. Yes everyone is special in theyre own ways. But i don't wanna be special or unique. I wanna be someone, someone who does stuff with her own ability.

Many instances like, you all know how there's been this latest craze about online shopping. Every girl out there's a boss! But theyre stuff's all the same. Why? They get their goods from supplies. Ok i'm not trying to bring them down or what, in fact they are pretty smart. Whereas I, i'll be making my own clay accessories and handmade bags. You see what i'm trying to say over here. I want to be that kind of someone. However, like i said, my outer ego.. she's too mucha bummer.

I always need a kick in the butt to work hard.


till then...

Seeeeya

Life

Life became rather meaningless... I'm starting a new job and dreading over the whole idea of adapting to a new environment all over again. I know i hate adapting but i do this to myself all the time. weird huh.

I like to use bombastic words, i like to use phrase with endless meanings but i still put myself in a situation where these bombastic words are barred from using.

I've been wondering for weeks now... what's in it for me to achieve ultimate goals. What's in it for me to be a well educated articulated lady. After all it has all got to end someday. Wont our efforts be washed down the drain?

It's scary how i think like that all the time, but you see, i'm quite right... am i not?

Life should be, relaxing. There shouldnt be any working for a goal or working to save enough money for my next generation. It's total bullshit. Generations after generations we've all suffered under the culture-torture.

Yes, the culture air-bourne dieseas. On the rear end of the world, people take a step back, work at their own pace but on the other end, its like a never ending race.

They ran and they ran and they ran and later just to find out that theyre down with a terminal dieseas. Well, the cultures the culprit. Sad enough, some arent that lucky. The entire "idea" of life becomes so... so... domineering...

You have to constantly run along side studies or jobs else you're not part of the society. Youre gonna be the outcast. But, yes i know, to some being and outcast is something they live to achieve, I like being an outcast too. Have you thought about it? Outcast...

Oh well... my brains hurting again because i know i'm gonna have to start working, AGAIN.

Seeeya.